So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
