apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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