I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
