Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
