Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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