I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Randomize
