I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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