I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
