If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My penis needs a shock collar
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
