okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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