Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
420 ftw
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize