dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
