I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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