You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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