Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
