im holly from the hills drunk
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
