Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
