Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So here I am, sexting at work.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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