Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
