I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
