This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
