So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
