Redeem this text for a blowjob
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
