I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
