and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
