Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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