loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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