hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
