the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
