Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
