I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
