yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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