I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
