Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
