lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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