Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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