Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
