your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They took my balls.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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