i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
