weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
