We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
