he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
