My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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