I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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