We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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