Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
