it was like having sex with a tree stump
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
