Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
