Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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