HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
