I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have already put on my inside pants.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
