I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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