Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
