I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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