No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize