How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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