So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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