I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
