just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
