We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
