Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
