There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
