I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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