i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
