So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
